Who say no GF no home cooked pasta eat. There the first ever home cooked pasta I cooked for myself. I think I shall learn to cook more dishes. Till the next wstromiania!!! =)

I am back... LONG LONG LONG LONG time since I was here to blog. Finally my 3 weeks of torture are over. Hope it will turn out well. Went to BUTTER on WED, my first party since the start of exam. Queued for freaking 2 hour plus before I can get into the club. It was full house both at Zouk and Butter. All the party animals rushing to club after their last paper.

Anyway its Xmas eve today, meaning that 2010 is almost UP. Wow 2011 is gonna kick on the start in one week time. What can I say? Hmmmm 2010 was a tiring year for me, emotionally tired. The impact was there. Especially on special day or festive seaon. Its was 1 + 1 but its 1 + 0 now. Because human mind is a special harddisk that cannot permentnally delet something that trigger the emotion of the heart. For example this WED when I was dancing at BUTTER, the DJ played the electro version of " LAST XMAS I GAVE U MY HEART ~~~~~~" The harddisk of mine just reboot the memory of mine. For a moment my system lagged for one mintue or two.

Today we gathered at DK house for a Pre-Xmas party. Hard disk rebooted the memory again. Guess no matter how strong my firewall is, there is always a back door for the memory to force my hard disk to automatically reboot.

Others always get to hit pair but all this while I only get to play with high card.

Santa if you do came across my blog, all I want for this Xmas is pls don't let me fall in love if its just going to end up setting a memory back door in my hard disk.


Merry Xmas Eve ppl!!!

I found out why all the stranges things happen lately. Its a very simple change within me. Explaining it in a very engineering way. It simply just that the magnetic field within my heart had changed in the direction of circulation =)

Because I care?

Exam is one month away from now. Sucks to the core. Seen one of my friend drowning himself lately and I saw myself in the past. Speechless and because I been through worse thats why pls wake up your idea. No point and not worth it.

Lately I realise that there is this other character of me surfacing more and more often. Maybe its because of the reflection of myself I saw from whats happening to my friend. It trigger something in me, a super active "self-defending" system. Its like a spike that will activated when it feels that something is not fair to me. Its a sudden surge of adrenaline rush and being release out through my tone, speech and reaction.

But well should be a side effect after being hurt over and over again.

Something is really wrong... Arrrrhhhhhh off to bed

WAKE UP!!! Serious brain damage!!! Got to slap myself real hard

There's something wrong with me.

I just don't feel happy.

I feeling so incomplete.

Whats wrg?

Well well this is very lag post. BH bday!!!! Lazy to save and upload all the photos. It was held at the pasir ris holiday flats, a simple bbq, follow by a drinking session. The ususal were all there. And once again BDAY BOY never escape from the us, we made him puke haha.

Its been so long I had a boys out night since erm dunno when haha. It was fun but some unhappy things did happen. Some how or rather human mind set had presume that " boys night out " means wild and flirtish. But well it will be wild but not flirtish? We drink, we talk and had fun. Maybe of what I had been through I am more open now and maybe I am single for too long to have the feeling of "worrying and jealous".

I think everything falls back to trust. Its hard to build and easily broken. However if you had never trust your other half then why entrust yourselve as a bf or gf to the other half? This is a question or problem that most of us will face during BGR. Trust is like tonic, too much of it no good, too little no good either. If two can balance it well, congrats he or she is the one.

Now lets discuss about PATTERN. Pattern is some thing that occurs with sequence or the event occurs before and repeat itself in the same way. Most of the time is others who ask you can you spot the PATTERN. Just like in life, its the people around you spot UR PATTERN. U will not spot your OWN PATTERN because you did it repeatly but you just don't realise it.

Lastly I think my mouth quite CB. I like to make fun of shits that happen and make fun of people. Hmmm I shall keep quiet from now on. No more suaning, no more ka jiao way!!!!

I wanna be attached but nobody wants me.
I am single because nobody wants me.
Dare to say but dun dare to do because I know nobody wants me.
I know nobody nobody wants me.

Its been one week plus since I last blogged. Same old routine this whole week. Sick of studying but still I just got to do it. Been trying to find back the feeling of being jealous lately haha. I think I am out of my mind.

Been pondering over "WHAT IF" This two words can change your life. But most of the time when we say WHAT IF, its already too late. Life is short make the chioce fast and make it worth while because there is no point to ponder over "WHAT IF".

RANDOM POST!!!!!

I LOVE MY PETS!!!!! THOUGH SHE BITES HAHA!!!!!

I am not happy!!! I don't like it but I can't seems to do anything to help. I only did make things worse.

OCTOBER BABIES

MY 23rd BDAY was spent at MBS. The moment I arrived at the lobby I knew that my money is definitly well spent. Got a room on the 28th floor with a belcony facing the sea. Its specially catered for the smokers as they can have a good view while they smoke haha. The room was awesome!!! I wanna go back again.

MBS Rating : 4/5

Worth for $$$ : 3.5/5

Service : 4/5

We had dinner at Waraku that evening because I was craving for Jap Food. We got to cramped together for our dinner because we are a group of 10 and the table can barely handle all of us haha. The food are tasty but the portion can't really fill my stomach. I was still hungry after eating.

WARAKU Rating : 3/5

Worth for $$$ : 2.5/5

Service : 3/5

BDAY BOYS!!!

MY PRESENT and MY BDAY CARD SPEACIALLY MADE BY MY SMALL TEH ( Jocelyn). The silvester is the card. Isn't it cute haha!!! THANKS SMALL TEH!!! LOVE it LOTS!!

THE USUAL GUYS!!! They were as eveil as usual trying to  down the BDAY boys that night. But then without them my life will not be that crazy and fun haha. THANKS BROS!!

The pretty ladies!!! MACDONA aka BIAO SHAO THANKS for the cake!!!

VIP ( Very important PIG xp ) of the night. Why VIP its because the most TUA BAI the latest comer of my BDAY. None other than BIG TEH ( Joanna ). She also tried to down me with grey goose when she herself has weak tolerance with voka haha. But she was heng because I kept losing to her!!

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Gave BIG TEH a BDAY dinner treat yesterday at KISEKI JAP BUFFET! Hope she enjoyed the food. But I am sure she enjoyed the ice cream with rainbow balls topping. She ate 3 bowls of ice cream and then complain that she is FULL FULL and got tummy lol.

Kiseki Rating : 3/5

Worth for $$$ : 3/5

Service : 3/5

After dinner we went cine to catch REGIN OF ASSASSIN. Its full of chinnese swords play and the weapons featured in the show are damm cool. As usual after this kind of action show big teh will try to perform some moves of her own too haha. As for her bday present is none other than PACIFIER.

Regin of assasin Rating : 4/5

Worth for $$$ : 4/5

I LOVE OCTOBER!!!!!

I am back once again to blog. Its the 4th week of school. I wish I can love my school or rather the course I study more. But well cutting down on party for real. And I been hooked on to watching drama lately haha. Its healthy and it kill time. Most importanly it make me happy =)

Firstly is a korean drama, MY GF IS A NINE TAIL FOX. It is a touching love drama plus its funny. This is the second korean drama that got me hooked up other than FULL HOUSE.

Rating:4/5

The second one that I am watching is a HK series. My fav actress 佘詩曼 is in the show as the third princess Zhao Yang. She is just so cute!!! This drama is  also about love, family love, siblings love and husband and wife love. Very meaning full show. But best for those good in chinese or cantonese inorder to totally digest the meaningful lines in the show.

Rating:4/5

Last week was a super hardcore week. I party straight four days in the row. Was feeling quite down last weekend as mention on the previous post, I did something wrong recently really didn't expect it will turn out like that. Can't mention name and what happen but ya.
Kind of confused and I was a lost soul. But things are much better now. I did not change, I am still me just that I am more playful now =)

Had a dream. I was talking to someone in the dream but I cannot remember the face. The person was telling me there is no point saying IF I HAD KNOW EARLIER. Things happen for a reason, people came into your life for a reaon too. Its not about knowing things that will happen earlier ornot, its all about how you going to face the outcome. The way you faced and overcome it will result in the amount you have grow.

ps: I am feeling guilty now. But what done is done. And I don't think hes worth it. But still I am sorry 笨笨

Last week was first week of school. No tutorials means school ends freaking early but the lectures still start spaming my brain which is still not yet warm up for studies. And I am also out of my mind by clubbing on WED, FRI and SAT on the first week of school. And for the THUR lessons I went school smelling like one moving voka. SHAKE HEAD! FUCK LA just not ready for school yet.

Today was the start of second week and I was late for school today well I over rolled on my bed I guess haha. But what ever!!! Gonna start studying tml.

I'M GONNA PARTY AND STUDY AND STUD AND STUD AND PARTY!!!!

Its the fucking last week of my holidays. Its feeling so unreal for me. After so long of holiday, really no mood for school especially my course. SIAN TILL THE MAX!!! Spent my whole holidays bascially slacking, playing and fooling around. Actually alot of thigns happened, firstly is the break up it almost got me wasted. Looking back now its like WTF am I doing, how come end up like that but then what done is done so learn from the lesson. And well I grew up and some view about life and relationship are no longer the same to me anymore. The wasted period lasted through out the World Cup thats when my life turn upside down becasue I slpt in the morning and active at night. Then I slowly picked myself up and begin a new life. Made lots of new friends along the way. Clubbling on a weekly routine haha. Then I started my OPERATION GETTING FITTNESS BACK. Forced myself to run everyday form MON TO FRI. Hopefully by the time I take my IPPT I can get at least silver or even better a gold.

I will study hard and I will still club LOL!!!!

Finally get to watch step up 3! Met up with Gladys for the great movie. Its totally awaersome for those who love dancing. Its not only dancing its about dreams, love and friendship. My most Fav line of the show is: THE IMPORTANT CHOICE IN LIFE IS NEVER EASY! It made me think about lots of things.

Ya to be honest I never did regret on the choices I made. Life is short I would say, if you never tried how would you know the outcome. Ya I am hurted seriously hurt, its a pain that no words can ever describe. I wonder why its it always like that. Actually its just like a dance batlle no one will always win. Its just like the process when you are dancing, do your moves and feel yourselve, every single move you made comes from your heart. No regrets just do it, whatever the outcome is, just face it.

Step up 3 rating: 3.5/5

Worth for $$: 4/5

Iszit the love I am looking for or the companion I am seeking for, I dunno!

Till then =)

** I had fun dancing all my heart out but somehow or rather I don't feel good 

Andrew 21st BDAY! Had dinner at BoTan Jap resturant. The ambience there is nice. Food are good too though its abit expensive but its comfirm worth the money. SASHIMI are fresh too. The average for a set meal is around $25. Above are some photos of the food we ordered there. Enjoy drooling at them =)

Botan Japanese Restaurant

#01-01, 36 Pekin Street S(48766), Far East Square

Tel: 6536 4404

Rating of food: 4/5

Worth for money: 4/5

service:5/5

It was supposed to be last week post but well I just got the photos.  Xiao Tian Birthday dinner at billy bombers. First time dinning there. I ordered silon steak, it came with 2 sides one mashed potato and the other is some vege with cheese. They are yummy!!! Due to some unknown error I can't upload the photo of the steak =(  After the dinner was the cake a super thick chocolate cake. Don't know where my friend got it, cake lovers confirm love it haha. Then we headed down to zouk, zouk had a switch between zouk and phuture that night. ITS SUPER PACK WITH ALOT OF GUYS. What made it worse was the music suck. So it was a waste of time, waste of money clubbing session that night.

Billy Bomber rating: 4/5

worth for $$: 4/5

servise: 4/5

Operation Getting fitness back

Monday ( Day 1 )
Had difficulty waking up in the morning for run. Forced myself to wake up but it was raining hence I went back to sleep. The next moment I opened my eyes its was already 3pm. Took me about 20min to get my body plus mind ready for the 1st day of operation GFB. Went for a run around my area, it nearly killed me. It was so dam shag. After the run I plan to finish the armour BX but I only could finish one set of normal push up, cranches and one set of diamond push up and I offically KO!!! But well its the 1st day so I guessed I should be happy about it.

Tuesday (Day 2)
Slp for 5 hr and met up with BH and Alfred to go for lap training at the Kathib stadium. We planned to finish on lap which is 400m in 1min and 45 sec but due to the lead of Alfred, we finished one lap in 1min 27 sec. I ran for 3 laps and I KO. My legs almost gave way. Rested for a while and I decided to complete the remianing 3 laps at my own speed. Then we went for swim at Yishun Safra. I should say its soaking in the pool instead of swimming. Then we headed down to SIM LIM for the hunt of cannon 130 =). I was so nice enough to went downto sembawang to accompany PRETTY GIRL miss Teh for her lunch. See I am so good to praise you.

Yishun Safra swimming pool rating: 3/5
Worth for money: GET A SAFRA CARD LOL

Wedensday ( Day 3 )
As for day 3, the training was running from my house to sembawang. It may seems a short distance to you all because it liek only one MRT station away. However I was a challenged to me too. Felt like giving up half way through the run. But mind over body I endured all the way till I reached sembawang. The feeling was great after I completed the run =). And my timing was so accurate, I bumped into Moo Moo when I was about to trained backto Yishun. Once again I spent my WED night at home. SIAN!!!

Thursday (Day 4)
Today supposed to train with BH and Alfred but BH was too shag to wake up in the morning so I slp all the way till 3 plus. Same old routine took 10 mins this time round to prepare myself for the run. I can feel the improvement each day of my run. I managed to complete half of the armir BX today. GREAT!!! My fitness is coming back to me bit by bit. I want to get back my cadet days body too =).

Some ZHI LIAN photos after my training =)

Can't help thinking about =)

Just came home from SHAKE SHAKE. Today suppose to be attending the NUS event at zouk with the usual but sadly two of them were sick so the thing was cancel. Felt dam sad and sian. I give up shaking on wed just for today and in the end cancel.
Met up with Xue ni for dinner plus catch up session at northpoint. She hasn't change much but she said I changed. She said I am different form last time. Hmmmm guess after all the thing I went through I grew up. It was when I felt so sian and wanting to slp, I recieved sms from Clare =). Ya its shaking time. Went down alone to meet her and her friends at phuture.
Needless to say its dam pack due to the NUS event today but I enjoyed my night.

U are my sunshine my only sunshine =)

Today is a stay home day for me. Had a mini MJ session with the usual. And finally me BH and Alfred can play FT normal map today. It took the noob BH quite sometime to patch his FT and thanks to my help he made it. And we went to war haha. Suddenly felt that FT is easier to micro as compare to SC2 because for SC2 the unit some really worst than paper life haha. So now its time for bed. NIGHT!!

Happy Birthday SINGAPORE!!!! I love SG!!! Camped whole day at home today to catch the NDP 2010. The parade brings back memory for my own conmissioning parade. Seeing all the Armour vehicles makes me feel proud to be an ARMOUR. ONCE AN ARMOUR ALWAYS AN ARMOUR.

Just had mac just now. The spicy nuggets are spicy indeed LOL!!! Lame!! I am gonna get fat if I don't get my training started.

Smile!!! Happy!!! =)

Sunday

It was a lazy day. Boon huat came over to my place to rot together. Had  our dinner over at 600 plus yishun. The shan lau hor fun there was not bad. A short MJ session after that before heading over to my MOO MOO place for monopoly. Once again I am the 1st to bankrupt. The third time I lost. After the game we had a story telling session by Frankie they were really interesting cause its full of mystery.

Shop Name:Gataomo


Address: Shop unit#04-79, Far East Plaza 14 Scotts Road Singapore 228213.

Went this place to cut my hair  this afternoon. I like my hair now haha.
Rating

service: 4/5 the hair dresser are very friendly and they know whats good for you.
worth for $: 5/5

After getting my hair done went down to Taka to look for joanna teh. She is promoting Feragamo perfume for ladies. Its sweet and gentle type of smell. Not bad actually. So ladies do support my friend there just take the card and go redeem the miniture. Then went straight to my grandpa place for his birthday celebration. HAPPY BDAY GRANDPA!!!!

As for the night was almost 2 hours of action at the cathy.

Rating: 4/5
Its full of action and quite abit of thinking to link everything up and you will get the OHHHHH sort of feeling haha.Watch it if you have not.

And now its time to sleep. People are waking up but I am going to sleep now. night

Queued 4 hours for this game before I went on my genting trip. But its worth all the waiting for it. Good graphic and good game play. Grab it if you have not. STARCRAFT 2!!!!

Rating: 4.5/5

Worth for the price: 5/5

Its been long since I am here again. Spent my last Friday night till saturday morning taking care of Joanna. She had a rough night haha. 1st time saw her in that state. Call me a guardian angel because I just appeared the right time right place when one is in need of help.

In the evening met up with her for dinner at town. We dine ar Bali Thai. The food was so so only. After dinner was our LETS GO LETS GO session. It was still a great night even that I got no CAI haha.

Shit do occur in life so just learnt from the lesson and walk out with style. Be strong.....

OK saw smth I should not have went to see. But nvm I won a best actor of the year for being one time big fool in hokkien is call " Kam Lan ". She put up quite a show from the start till the end. And toying with my fucking feelings all along. DISGUSTED! Feeling so dam NOT WORTH IT!

But its ok I forgive her. Got to thank her for the lesson that I learnt. I am doing very well in my life now.

I am smiling form the bottom of my heart =)

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same

Today was suppose to be a beautiful day and a mark of an ending which I kept it all with beautiful memories. But shit happend. What a day for me. I recieved a phone call from one that I loved so much and she fuck me upside down. And me not knowing what actually happen felt shock. Harsh words just came into my ear and pircing straight through my heart. Sometime you really dun not need a knife to kill someone. Word alone can do the job. And its better as it will not kill you but torture your inside.

Then followed by harsh and deadly sms form her. My heart was pronouce dead that moment. From the start till the end and even after, I was trying my best to love, to care and protecting her. But all these doesn't seems to be acknowledge by her. She really only care about her feelings when she said those things. I am also human. Have you not done enough damge to my heart, you just want it dead don't you. It is so hurting till I felt nothing. If you really want it this way so be it. A guardian angel also has his own limit, what make it worse is that the one who pull the trigger right on the spot and kills him off was the one he was always protecting with his wings.

What have I done to deserve this. Now that the angel is dead my duty is over really over. Not to say I am the best but I did my part with my best when I was still on duty. You can go round doing or say what you want and I am not affected anymore. Who care how they people will look at me or see me as. Since this is way you wanted it, I will accept it. I will not hate you. Do take care and wishing you all the best from the bottom of my heart.

I am on my way throug the dragon gate now.

Its just a major exam in my life that I got to  face but I leanrt alot from it.

If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.

What is broken is broken, and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived.

I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me.

Embrace pain and burn it as fuel

Dragon Gate I am going through now....

Went to catch knight and day alone just now. It was a good show. I love the action plus the love. Why can't my love be like that siol. The girl risk the life for the guy and vice versa. I also love one quote from the show which is " Its all the small things that counts". Because for me I appreciate all the samll thins rather than all the great things that happen on the certain date or day. I loved, I cared, I treasured, I cried,  I really lost. Bankrupted all my heart and it hurts alot. And I had to emphasised again no one will ever understand what my heart had gone through. Its not like I want to feel emo, its not that I like eating alone, Its not like I really wish to watch movie or do whatever shit alone. Friends are there but they themselve have their own life. I do not want to always got to disturb their life therefore I got to learn to be alone. Who likes to be sad who likes to be lonely right. World cup had end and its gonna be that square again.

If I had not love with all my truthful heart, I would not end up with a broken heart

Is it a curse or is it not but the matter of fact I am afraid to love anymore.

Today will be the last match of world cup. Which means to say I am really gonna be back to square one with my libra weight thats being thrown off balance. Guess I am a pure libra after all. Feeling kicking in once again.

You tell me not to be sad but what else can i do? I've been trying to justify why. You were cold like it doesnt even matter that i care. Many had my held my heart before but no one has as tight as you. I tried so hard to keep you here but i lost another fight in losing you, my dear.

How I wish that ......You would still care.

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”

Walking alone and off I go. Nite.

Air and Fire:


This is a dynamic combo, with Air being able to create an outline of meaning through thought for the Fire to be inspired by. Air helps Fire take a more logical path toward success, some direction for their leaps of faith. Fire gives Air a sense of mission, purpose, and shines a light of focus through the jumble of collected data, thoughts, information.

Secondhand Serenade Your Call

Just changed my blog song to this song. Spent whole day at sentosa siloso beach chalet. It was supposed to be a ultra gathering but most of the poeple pull plug during the last minutes. So disgusting, next time if you don't wish to attend just say you not coming right form the start. SO WO DON:T HAVE TO WASTE FOOD. But its still quite a fun day because its also a BDAY celebration for Frankie haha. Hope he is happy for what we did to HIM LOL. Reached home in the afternoon today shag to the max. Did not sleep for one whole day from yesterday. Hence spent the other half of the day sleeping.

And right now feeling so awake and the feeling is kicking in again. Feeling lonely now. I am missing the warm hug right here right now. The feeling of missing the one you love with a smile is more beautiful than missing one with tears =)

Holland is in for the final. Time to sleep once again but I am hungry. And I am missing and craving for a plate of a very simple pasta that had never failed to make me put up a smile.

Today was quite a day. I am back to square one like I always am when I am single. Went school to hand in the stupid form for just a fucking 0AU prescribe lab. Waste my time. Then went down to BBDC to get my PDL and booked my final theory. I am gonna have my lisence, hopefully by then I got a car to drive. After that I went down to bugis bai bai as well as seek guidedian from guan ying niang niang. Its the first time I tried the shake shake thing which we call qui qian in chinese. I got an yes from guan ying niang niang on the second attemp.

The qian goes like: " Everything will be fine, everything will be solved and that I had reach the dragon-gate, one's name become famous". Hopefully what my heart hope for will turn out to be good like what the qian says.

After that I went to town to look for my new ear piece and thats when the shopping spreen all started. Spent quite abit on myself today. But never to deny when I passed the places or shops, memories filled my mind. My heart felt the sharp pain. I think this pain will always be there because its part of me now. Glad that she is happy spending her everyday. Guess to love someone without having her is quite something for me to slowly master.

Strange huh when you are sad you should listen to some happy songs but I chose to listen to emo songs. they just suit my mood. Got to admit I still love, care and worry about her but I only can watch her by the side now. Just want her to be happy, healthy and safe. I regretted that when I got the chance why din't I treasure every seconds to care for her and I also regretted that I lost myself during the end. But what to do? Chance don't come easily. When it slipped pass it means its gone forever.
 
If 100% is the max, 60% of me had moved on but 40% had been locked away in my heart. I am a libra and for libra when they found something worht it, they will not forget it easily. Cos I really loved. Oh ya and I found something to explain why people thinks that I am too nice.

I am not stupid or too nice ok just that " 容忍的人其实并不笨, 只是宁可对自己残忍"
I shall take these time now to keep on improveing myself and to grow up more.

Till that day when I can proudly say that I am a worthy bf or husband.

Signing off again

一直在一傍默默守护你的人

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.

It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life'd be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person.


If I had not taken my chance I would have miss out the best things that came into my life therefore I never regret because you once made me smile.

To err is human, so just leave it at A.

signing out,
AADEN

Dream last night

Dog

To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. The dream dog may also represent someone in your life who exhibits these qualities. Alternatively, to see a dog in your dream, indicates a skill that you may have ignored or forgotten.

Bicycle

To see a bicycle in your dream, indicates that you need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation.

Friends

To see friends in your dream, signify aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Alternatively, dreaming of a friend, indicates positive news.

Ex
Metaphorically, seeing your ex in your dream may also signify aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.

Crying
To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In your daily lives, you tend to ignore, deny, or repress your feelings. But in your dream state, your defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of those feelings that you have repressed during the day.



Tears
To dream that you are in tears, signify that you are undergoing a period of healing in your life. The tears symbolize compassion, emotional healing and spiritual cleansing. Alternatively, tears indicate pain.

Summary of today. DISGUSTED by how SUAY I can get in one day.

1. Module cannot get when I click whole afternoon.
2. Printer fail on me on such an IMPT day.
3. Cab all the fucking way down to school and the people there knock off early. ( $40 on cab).
4. Went to KW BDAY and the cab uncle dunno how to go!
5. Brazil lost!!!

I am here to blog again. My blog has been the place where I vomit everything out lately haha. Late june till now is total FML peroid. I am left alone to continue with the story. I loss everything just like that "poff". Who on the right mind won't want to be happy but sometimes its just too bad can't help it. No matter of advice, lecturing or comforting all of them are just words. Easy to say but when you are in the position its hard to execute. Its because no one will ever to be able to feel how you felt completely from head to toe. I am no stupid, just that I find you as one of the things thats worth it in my life. But anyway I got to continue the story myself now. Times when I flip back and read the previous chapters I will always have a smile on my face thats for sure. Thanks for being in these 10 chapters of my life =)

Now for things going in to the lesson learn through life experience part. I should really be really really careful when putting my trust on people around me. Lucky I got quite a few  bros and a cow ( you know who you are ) which I think I can really trust. Because theres really shape shifters in this world no joke. Infront of you one shape behind of you another shape. No it should be "shapes". Shape shifter you still can mold your shape and I guess I am still ok to say HI.

Truth is when you get the same answer after endless why. Because for me my answer is to me you are worth it.

Ppl around dun see or feel it. I am really trying hard.Even in dream I am fighting hard. Cos to dream of myself in a fight shows that there's internal conflict within myself. Ands it's so true cos I dreamt of myself fighting myself. Certain aspect in me is not agreeing to each other. That's y i am fighting.Fighting also signify the struggle I am going through in life. As for hearing voices it signify a message from the unconcious or spirtal realm. What a dream!The dream is pointing a way for me cos the voice told one of me to go rest and let the other me take over. Let's see if later I can dream of the real answer the voice is pointing to.

Can't really get to sleep once again. But this time round i remembered one of my dream haha. Its the second time I dreamt of it. The last occurance was back last year when I am also down in shitty state. I dreamt of myself fighting against myself. It was a fierce fight because I can see both of myself bleeding and blue black everywhere. The fight was going on and on till a lady voice from nowhere said something in chinese: 玮胜你够了，我知道你伤的不轻，你累了让他代替你做你吧！For those whose chinese not so good let me translate it means: Aaden its enough, I know your wound is serious and you are tired, let him subsitude you to carry on Aaden's life. What a dream i wonder who is the girl and are there really two of me in me? Is the other me really taking over me now???

我到底做错了什么。为何我每次付出的真心都好想是在把自己的心放在一个陷阱里？我真的有你们说的那么好吗？那为何每次只要轻轻一碰你们都要刺碎我的心。你们说放就放，留我独自一人把碎掉的心再次重组。碎了再重组的心根本不可能是从前的那颗心。它是脆弱的，它是容易受伤的。但是我还是放了我最真的心去在乎你。我还以为这一次我终于找到我可望的那个她。为何连你也一样我只不过轻轻的碰了一下，你就刺碎了我的心。为何你就不能和我好好的谈，继续牵着我的手一起走下去。

为何你就这样说放就放，说是为我好，真的为我好吗？我现在一点都不好。我部分的心碎了，部分的心还困在陷阱里。我每天都很努力的想把那部分救出来，可我办不到。它被刺的好深，我一碰到我就好痛。我现在的痛，我的感受又有谁能了解。你说一切都在你的预料中，但你能体会我现在每天经历着的痛吗？我每天都找东西来麻木自己，朋友面前我会笑会闹。我根本就在自欺欺人，我根本就不开心。这就是现在的我，是笑非笑的我。

可能这就是我的命吧，我就一个说丢就丢的东西吧，根本就不被珍惜的东西。你们真的有在乎我吗？有想为我努力过吗？我不说不，不是因为我没主见，是因为我爱你。我处处让着你，不是因为我怕失去你，是因为我爱你。我笑着看你走，我不是不伤心， 是因为我太爱你。

你身边有好多想守护你的人，而我只有一个我想守护的你。如果我们的角色对换也许就真的有人能了解现在的我。

I AM NOT HAPPY!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPP!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! IAM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!

WHO WILL UNDERSTAND WHO??????

Its just like how we set the alarm clock. Mine had been set. Everyday when it goes off, he will come hunting and ripping my heart apart till the snooze is over. But I am not in control of the snooze, I can only count down to the endless seconds that goes by till it stops.

我对你感觉胜过爱情

The days go by.

                                           But the feelings stand still.

I am, and always will be, the guardian angel

                                      Meant to protect your heart.

                                      Always be near when you call
                                  I will watch as you walk away from me
                                      With happiness in your soul again

                                      I ask nothing from you in return
     For I am the angel that will forever spread my wings and protect you.

I can't  have good sleeps lately, keep waking up from dreams. Is it making fun of me? All along sleeping have been the best healing procedure for my heart because its the best thing to do when I am all alone by myself but it invaded my dreams. I woke up tearing but I cannot remember the dream but my heart hurts and thats what i know.

My heart is lonely

                                                                I feel so bare
                                                                I'm drowning quickly
                                                                In my despair
                                                                Forsaken feelings
                                                                Trapped in my reclusive life
                                                                Solitude cuts me like a knife
                                                                Freinds are around me
                                                                But lonely is still there
                                                                Everyday I face, I put on a new smile
                                                                thinking that if I could convince them
                                                                I can convince myself
                                                                But once I am alone
                                                                I am lost and lonely is always there.

I'm sitting here now, writting this.
Will you or will you not, its not the main thing that I blogged.
In this space and in this blog, this is where I type my thoughts.

Whenever and whereever, deeping down I miss you lots.
Its neither pain nor ache that my lonely heart is crying for.

A constant longing that never goes away.
Wishing here and wishing there
wishing that you were here to hold me tight.

I miss you.....

 Counting down the seconds, minutes, hours, days. The sun set like it always does. The sun rose like it always does. But time seem to have slowed down. Everything appeared to stand still. How things were, are, and will be-- FAITH.

你的笑你的好在我脑海里一直绕
我的心忘不了拥抱时的温暖
我的手也已寂寞了
忍住了不舍忍住了痛泪
我放手了
但心已习惯对你好

Faith

The clock in my heart had stop. The special picec of gear , has been handed over to u. U defienity are the only one that is worth for it.

Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy.

A sense of curiosity is nature's original school of education.

But will it kills? Because it kills the cat LOL!!!

Future is what that lies ahead. Hold my hand..... Walk with me..... Let our heart bond tighter each and every steps we take.

Just randomly came across this MV agian. Wanted to share this MV and song earlier but I forgot the name of the song. Guess thats the power of love. This power has enable the impossible to become possible. However I will choose to be by her side to watch over her instaed of just being online.

准备好了 three two one


I'll always be there

和你one to one

爱开始扩散

我们连接了穿越天空银河

开始倒数 three two one

渗出我的孤单

more and more既是深刻

爱亮了 爱笑了

I'll always be there.

This is a part of the lyric from JJ's song. I did abit of edition.

Once again here to complain on how sick I am regarding the " NEED TO " of mine. Which is none other than STUDY. Seriously pumping so much information into myself is causing my brain to start to reject some of the informations. Therefore I am here to blog.

Had been considering of getting myself a laptop. And I am looking at MACBOOK PRO 13 inch. But now I can't make up my mind of which to get. The 2.26GHz or the 2.53GHz. One is at $1988 and the other is at $2488. Heard from people that student can get a student discount. Haiz such an headache if only I strike the new year ang bao toto. At least let me win a few thousand to get a laptop.

Its been long since I am here again. Its my one week holiday this week but seriouly it do not feel like a holiday. I been goign back to school for the pass 4 days for project and I got to study for my quiz. It just sucks. Can't wait to get over this sem.

And I just realise the different between " want to " and "need to". For me studying EEE is a "need to" much more than "want to". So nothing much happen recently as life is more or less the same everyday the school-home routine.

Oh ya had been watching HITMAN REBORN lately. I rate it 3.4/5 the starting part was quite boring but till the later part its more exciting. The anime is emphasing on " ONE will get stronger when there is someone he or she will like to protect".

In fact its all about love, care and trust.

Hmmmm.... I got a brain but it do not have the mind of its own most of the time. Which makes me a follower or in fact a most of the time everything OK sort. I need to improve my "sensor" and make my brain " MY MIND OF MY OWN".


ps: Still alot for my to improve on.... I will be there....

Should be studying but well found all this memories when I was looking through the photos haha. Vday is around the corner. And yes no more lonely Vday this year cos I got her to be with me =) Everyday is vday to me as long as she is smiling beside me, caring, loving me or bullying me... Guess this is how a rabbit fell for a tiger.

1st outing or rather supper with Gummy aka Xiao Lian EH!







Broguth xiao lian eh out for supper at yew tee. Look at him, He grew so much bigger thant the 1st time when we bought him. Good life hamster, eat well, sleep well and alot of love from Jo. Cos she Pian Xin like gummy much more over than the others. Hmmm i shall find time to upload the photos of Chewy, the trio and the emo soon haha.
The trio loves me cos I always feed them the strawbery cheese things.

Just few days ago a 2nd case of ntu student committing sucide. Is this reflecting that uni is giving too much pressure? Because the soceity is moving at such a high pace, our education is also moving faster so that we can catch up. Once again it bound down to something we may long forget that is learning should be something fun.

Ask yourselve nowadays our youngsters, " Are they study for the grades and paper or are they studyiong because they want to learn". Learning had become something that is a need to and not a want to. Most of us or rather almost all of us just want to get good grades and done with it. Iszit the society or our education system moulding us into " Studying for the sick of the grades " kind of learner?

YAWNNNNNNN!!!! Its been one month since I had to wake up so early in the morning. Its first day of school today. And I had not bought any of my notes yet. Haiz later in school confirm need to queue for notes. The worse that could happen will be finding out that notes are sold out after the long queue. I am just so not ready for school.

Its last few days before school starts again. Its feeling just not right to go back school so fast. Timetable is like crap lots of long days. Trying my every best to enojoy my last few days away. Went minds cafe with the usual just now. For the very first time we are doing something that is fun, uses the brain plus some reflects and most importantly without drinking HAHA... Keep it up stay healthy LOL!!!

Mum asked me some out of the blue questions today too. I was quite stunned when she shoot those questions to me. But glad that she can know what I am thinking just by observing.

Ps: =) ( I just read your blog )

Smile smile smile!!!

First and for MOST HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! Hope you people had a great cross over to 2010. I had my count down when I was on my way to DK house thats damm sad but then I got to see some fire works.

Same old thing for party cards, drinks and food. I also dunno why I filled my own stomach with so much red wine. Serioulys first day of 2010 I am already drinking. Party was cool but not really that cool. Guessed alcohol do influenceed one to do something out of normal.

Alright for the first day of 2010 I got something to say. Every person had their onw "story" or "book" to read. Different phase, different things they face. But then what most important is how you gonna handle them. Look around, if you can't see just use your own heart to feel whos around you. I think you people will think that I am talking rubbish but then just try. Close your eyes and feel it.

For me I felt it, thats why I am treasuring.

So feel it and treasure it.

And thats LOVE!